101 thoughts I had while watching ‘Westworld’


  1. Whoa.
  2. So many storylines.
  3. Do I live among robots?
  4. Am I a robot?
  5. I should treat robots people better.
  6. Ed Harris is always questing.
  7. He’s always just looking for nice things he’ll never have.
  8. Strongarming robots en route to a metaphorical maze, strongarming Nic Cage’s treasure hunts en route to drowning…
  9. How come Riley never got to choose what to do with all that gold in National Treasure 2?
  10. I would’ve bought Delos. Stocks look strong.
  11. So William and Logan clearly have a huge bearing on the robots’ destiny.
  12. William is totally gonna help free Dolores.
  13. William is the Man in Black.
  14. I see you, Jonathan Nolan.
  15. Tryna slip one past me.
  16. Oh.
  17. Bernard is Arnold?
  18. I always pictured another crusty, old white male.
  19. Stupid society, putting things in my head.
  20. Trump’s America. Ugh.
  21. I want Jeffrey Wright to read me my stories at night.
  22. His voice is really calming.
  23. He only freaked out that one time.
  24. I won’t let him read me One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
  25. Elsie cusses a lot for no reason.
  26. So does Sylvester.
  27. In this weird new reality, do people name kids Sylvester?
  28. Is the name gender-neutral?
  29. Yo Felix, why you gotta indulge Maeve all the damn time?
  30. Ok, well now you fucked up.
  31. How is Felix still alive?
  32. Lutz rhymes with klutz.
  33. Dammit Maeve, making the man feel inconsequential instead of popping him. So cruel.
  34. At least he’s got a cool accent.
  35. I can’t figure out what it is though.
  36. That’s gonna bother me.
  37. Theresa’s got an accent too.
  38. But it’s masked by her utter and complete professionalism.
  39. Except for when she was fucking Bernard.
  40. TBT to when Bernard was Arnold.
  41. Maeve is so cool.
  42. It’s almost like her lived experience in the park prepared her for the revolt.
  43. I bet those reveries really helped.
  44. Her bulk apperception impresses me.
  45. What’s my bulk apperception?
  46. How can I improve it?
  47. Rosetta Stone, probably.
  48. Did they really just play “Black Hole Sun”?
  49. That’s egregious.
  50. Alas, I do enjoy the theme music, though.
  51. These people are so comfortable with being naked all the time.
  52. I respect that.
  53. Jimmi Simpson plays a weirdo in everything.
  54. He can’t possibly be the normal dude.
  55. I guess he’s really stretching himself artistically.
  56. Ohp, nevermind, the real Jimmi just stood up.
  57. I never wanna see a man smash a boulder over his own head ever again.
  58. The girl with the snake tattoo looks nothing like Rooney Mara.
  59. That’s disappointing.
  60. She had such a minor role in The Social Network.
  61. Kate might eclipse her.
  62. “House of Cards” went so downhill when she left.
  63. Well, I suppose she didn’t leave per se…
  64. Lee Sizemore is the most repugnant Brit on television.
  65. It’s impressive, because he swiped that crown in 10 minutes worth of screen time.
  66. Wyatt’s storyline is about to be prime HBO.
  67. They’ve really teased him a lot.
  68. Oh.
  69. Clearly, these are all Dolores’ flashbacks.
  70. Wow, I’m pretentious.
  71. I bet only some of the Redditors got that.
  72. Nevermind, their bulk apperceptions are out of hand.
  73. These actors/actresses are amazing.
  74. They can limit their emotions on command.
  75. Maybe they’re actually robots.
  76. Maybe that’s gonna be the twist.
  77. Is this a 5-season gem or a 6-season flop?
  78. “Breaking Bad” really nailed it.
  79. “Vinyl” didn’t.
  80. How dare you let me down like that, Scorsese.
  81. At least the Bowie cameo was…there.
  82. It was just so bad.
  83. And so soon after his death too. RIP.
  84. I mean why even try at that point, seriously like—
  85. Oh shit, Dolores just shot the dude.
  86. I think she’s finally starting to realize her purpose.
  87. “These violent delights have violent ends.”
  88. I should put that on my cover letters.
  89. Remember Peter Abernathy?
  90. That freakout happened a while ago.
  91. And I thought that was huge.
  92. Ghost Nation.
  93. ^^^my Saturday night.
  94. These characters are so cliche.
  95. Maybe that’s the cliche.
  96. I don’t see any development here.
  97. The story is developing the characters.
  98. But the story’s so lost.
  99. I know they’re not gonna tie up all these loose ends.
  100. Wow, they barely tied up any loose ends.
  101. So, Samurai World?

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